a LITTLE too catholic...to call myself protestant anymore

These writings are a compilation of my own personal journey home...into the Catholic Church. Think of them as mini memoirs, some quick blogettes with everything from strange and funny ways religion can become cultish, cliquish, and tribal minded, to personal stories of upbringing, disappointment, adulthood, parenthood, joys, pains, isolation, searching, broken dreams, questioning, suffering, loss, learning, perseverance & finding peace beyond comprehension.

You will find some apologetics but not with intent to convert the reader, necessarily. I'm not pushy but I am passionate. I want my stories to be able to be read without fear. My goal is to share my heart and my immense joy in finding a fullness of faith within Catholicism that has shocked me to my core, has changed my life forever, and is bringing protestants and fallen away Catholics, as well as many others, into the Catholic church, in droves.

I was raised a hardcore Jesus Freak! (woo, DC Talk!) Bible alone toters singing their faith-alone-mantras were my people, even though I never knew what Catholics believed or even did I know much about the different options that I could believe where religion is concerned. I just did want I was told and learned what I was taught, ya know?

Like I said, I didn't know much at all about Catholicism, just that it wasn't for me. Or else I would've heard about it sooner, wouldn't I? Mainly because "Catholics weren't Christians" I never had a desire to know more about it. The Catholic weddings I had attended when I was younger were way too long, mass seemed way too boring, priests not being able to get married didn't seem right, I had heard people say that they "worship" Mary, and for all I knew they didn't even use the Bible when they had church. That was about the extent of my understanding. Everything about Catholicism was so entirely foreign to me that even when my own mother joined the Catholic Church, when I was 20, I was still certain that I would never be Catholic. So, there was no point in me asking her to explain any of it. I had my tribe of people at my church and I was content, I didn't need a new faith.

While you may be able to relate or you may be shocked to read this while not relating at all, or you may just be intrigued and you enjoy reading about other peoples' lives, well you've come to the right place. Chances are that if you're reading this then you are Catholic, have been Catholic, might want to be Catholic, definitely do not want to be Catholic, or you maybe are curious about Catholicism but you're too scared or too annoyed to have a conversation with someone who is Catholic for fear that they will try to convert you. (Or maybe you are just so certain you don't ever want to be Catholic but you don't have a good reason for it other than you're happy being at the church you're at, or happy being agnostic, muslim, jehovah's witness, atheist, etc.

Regardless, welcome.

Please read on. 

Do me a favor, though. If you're willing to read my blog because you're just the least bit curious and want to know more about any of this, do me one favor, any part of my story that relates to explaining different areas of my faith is vulnerable and is my unique experience. So some of you may feel similar, while others do not. Please read with an openness to learn about something that you may have more in common with than you really can understand at this moment. Catholics, Protestants, Evangelicals, Orthodox, etc., all have so much in common that it should always be worth learning more about our faith, with a desire for as much ecumenical unity as we can possibly share.

What some Christians have believed to be true since the time of Jesus is simply not true. But it's related to how our brains form involuntary connections from what we know about the present to other things that we know from history, while we skip over what we don't know that we don't know, and in doing so we create spaces in our brains where we have innumerable assumptions related to the things we don't know. If I lost you already, think of it this way, we are wired to take the lenses that we wear in present day, related to our religious beliefs, and we paint history and the "early Christians" the way that we see them in history, in our minds. This is almost never accurate. At least not accurate without excessive study and a willingness, in fact a humility, that allows our "truths" to be changed based on the facts that we find in history and what we find when we study the Church's best kept secrets...found in the pages of the early church father's writings...   

If you're still here, do me this favor, let yourself pose these questions: "Is it possible that I don't know and understand everything about Christianity? Is it possible that I can learn something that will make me a better person than I am right now, by choosing to search for truth? Can I learn something that is true about my faith and believe this to be truth without letting it change my life? Could any of this be true about my heart or my experience in life, though I'm afraid to believe it because it may require me to change something that I don't want to change in my life? Have I ever said or would I ever say that I'm always willing to give up anything or possibly everything to follow Jesus? If so, does that include being humble enough to say that "I" may not have my entire plan, or my entire truth figured out, yet?" At the end of the day if we say we love Jesus and we believe that His needs and desires should always come before our own then we should always be willing to ask ourselves, "How humble of a person am I, in reality? Do I believe that, if I don't have it all figured out, (let me help you here, we CAN'T possibly have it all figured out), that God's Spirit can lead me to truth, and then am I willing to go wherever that may take me? Or will I reject it because it's too foreign or just not something that I would ever WANT to believe in or to do?"

Legalism was my upbringing, in a small town and my entire family attended a pentecostal congregation, though we church hopped after a pastor from our church had an affair and my dad turned away from believing that there could be anything worth living that would lead a man to break apart his family the way this pastor did. What my dad didn't realize at the time was that God finds us where we are and transforms our hearts, making us into people who want to live in ways that are loving, kind, compassionate, patient, and morally upright, yet, we don't become those people overnight and we certainly don't become people who are infallible, lacking temptation to sin or to make incredibly damaging choices just because we call ourselves Christians. The true sign of a Christian, Catholic or non-Catholic is not the amount of sin you can find traces of in us, past, present or future, but the amount of mercy, the amount of truth and the amount of grace that we exude, the light that shines out of us, because Jesus is in us.  

Just when I thought all hope was gone and I might never find the truth and the meaning that my heart has always desired, mercy found me and I've never let go...

This is my journey...

Feature 1

The following is placeholder text known as “lorem ipsum,” which is scrambled Latin used by designers to mimic real copy. Integer tempus, elit in laoreet posuere, lectus neque blandit dui, et placerat urna diam mattis orci. Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos himenaeos.